International Travel | Europe | Scotland | Italy 2016 |Rambling and nonsense

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Wow. I’m pretty sure I’ve averaged 1 post per year for the past 3 years? At this rate, by 2020, I’ll have a whopping 6 posts!

Well.. despite my lack of posts… I’m gone quite a bit. 6 months. Literally 186 days out of the year in 2015. I’m not exactly sure how that happened… but alas. It was enjoyable. Maybe one day, I’ll have the time to look through all of my photos from these trips, seeming as though I haven’t gone through my last trip’s photos, let alone the ones from the last 4 years. Not from India, Nepal, Iceland, New York, Utah, Arizona, Puerto Rico, Colombia, Florida, South Carolina, Colorado, Louisiana, California, Pennsylvania, DC, Chile, Peru, Ecuador, The Galapagos Islands…. and now we can add Scotland and Italy to that mix of photos from places I’ve visited and will never get to see. Oh well. It’ll be a mind trip when it does happen!

But– currently, I’m in Italy. We’ve been here for almost a week and we have about a week before heading back to the states. Typically– established/western European countries aren’t on the top of my list- for a few reason actually. 1– they’re really expensive. When you travel the length of time that I do, it’s important to squeeze that booger out of Lincon’s nose… and frankly, it pisses me off to THINK you’re spending 1 dollar and you come back realizing that you actually spent $1.20. Or for countries like Scotland… $1.65. I loved iceland– but I could do without spending $26 dollars on a shitty lamb burger.

Sometimes I wish I were capable of being anorexic for financial and vanity reasons. It would be like two birds with one stone! Except–  I have so little will-power when it comes to food– it’s shameful. I had a golden retriever named Heidi back in the day. She was my spirit animal. Not the smartest but the sweetest being to ever walk this earth. She was a little on the plump side– basically cylindrical in shape. She had a figure almost equivalent to that of a a miniature cow equipped with arthritic peg legs that only seemed to crease at her knees on special occasions, birthdays, and some federal holidays. Quirks and rotundness – it just meant there was more to love.

Long story longer… She would eat anything you put in front of her face. << our similarities — frightening.  I came  home to her eager eyes, and supposed famished distended belly. As usual– I fed her a big ass bowl of kibble– not knowing my sister fed her only minutes before.

Well… she scarfed down that second bowl of kibble as if it were her last supper. All of those dry, densely packed, low frequency crunch, geometrically shaped kernels– questionable in sustenance and with flavor equivalent to that of cardboard. A fine delicacy in her eyes.

Then my ears perked up. “Is someone plunging a toilet behind me?” Oh… noooo. I know what that noise it. That distinct churning sound– the byproduct of an undulating digestive system on the verge of eruption. “Awe my poor dog has an eating disorder…”-

Vomit, vomit, everywhere, but not a bite to eat! Not the case. What did she do? What any self-respecting lady would… She enjoyed that delicacy for a second time and scarfed down that poorly masticated mess in a similar fashion reminiscent of a constrictor unhinging it’s jaw to engulf it’s face around a lifeless woodland creature.

As I stood their in utter shock and dismay- I couldn’t decide if I was in shock b/c of what just transpired before my eyes or because I understood her thought process and gave her a mental hi-five. Waste not want not, girlfriend!

The far reach connection here that I’m a thrifty traveler and would never dare waste money on food and especially not to just to throw it out. If I’m going to buy that calorie, I’m going to feel the full force of it and hold on to it for time and time to come. Damn it. Around my midsection.

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